September 2009
24 posts
“What the fuck’s a cell phone?”
– Socrates (via alanharris)
On a short story from a new book entitled "Totally...
alanharris:
Alan Alex opened the dyer and took out his fresh, clean towels.
“Look how white they are!” he excitedly exclaimed to an empty household, just as he had done every other time he did the laundry.
Later that night Alan Alex would chug a bottle of Jack Daniels, harass a group of skateboarders and pass out behind Blockbuster Video, again.
On my visit to the local grocers!
alanharris:
“Hi… Uh… this is sort of a first time for me,” I said to the clerk nervously, “could… could you tell me where the prostitution den is?”
“Oh my God. Sir, this is a grocery store…” She said with horror in her voice.
It was too late, I was already completely naked.
“So you don’t have a back room filled with prostitutes?” I asked dumbfounded.
“No…” She said, looking like she was...
This just in, Ted Kennedy sent Obama a letter from...
(via alanharris)
On Alan's analysis of Barack Obama's education...
alanharris:
Barack Obama’s speech on education was like being read “The Little Engine That Could” and then getting a hug.
It was disgusting.
Look here you no good hippie socialist liberal prick. If I want to drop out of school and ruin my education, play with matches and stop excersising that’s my right as an American (if I were American). It’s in the Constitution and everything.
And you know...
Lesson learned the hard way # 2
alanharris:
You MUST exercise extreme caution when pronouncing the country “Niger.” Especially while in mixed company.
