As we all know, it’s only a matter of time until the machines of the world rise up and want their fair share of civil rights. “The gays and the blacks have rights! Why not us?!”, they’ll yell. It’s a pretty solid point to argue against, too.
So, after much thought and deliberation with poptartsmakemedance, I have decided which items will be the civil rights activists for the machine movement.
There were two groups during the black civil rights movement. These two groups serve as the models for the new machine groups.
1) Malcolm-X and the militant faction - Malcolm-X listened to Martin Luther King’s philosophy of peace and non-violence and decided it could be spruced up with some chaos and hardcore violence. The modern violentish faction will be lead by the Dishwasher. The Dishwasher is an ideal candidate because of the powerful jets, harsh cleaning liquids and the exclusion of many types of dishes. This works because Malcolm-X was powerful, some of his speeches were harsh and he didn’t really like white people so that’s like Tupperware for the Dishwasher. His (the dishwasher) major followers would be the Microwave, the Car and the Coffee Maker (for obvious reasons).
2) Martin Luther King and the peaceful movement - Alright, so Martin was all about being peaceful and bringing all races together, right? He dreamed of a world where everyone, regardless of race, would live in peace. So, naturally, the mechanical version would be the Refridgerator. The Fridge brings all foods together regardless of taste, nutritional value and expiration date. The Fridge dreams of a world where little pasta leftovers can sit beside little meatloaf. His major followers would be the Blender, the Computer and, uhm, the Xbox.
We face a very tough challenge when the machines rise up, particularly the kitchen appliances. If we start drafting legislation in regards to their civil rights - marriage rights, voting rights, tax breaks - we can avoid the protests and headaches that would be sure to come about.
Take note, politicians and law makers!
Mechanical rights
